Old and New Jokes

Men are like…….



…..Placemats.

They only show up when theres food on the table.



…..Mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.



…..Bike helmets.

Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.



…..Government bonds.

They take so long to mature.



…..Copiers.

You need them for reproduction, but thats about it.



…..Lava lamps.

Fun to look at, but not all that bright.



…..Bank accounts.

Without a lot of money, they dont generate much interest.



…..High heels.

Theyre easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.



…..Curling irons.

Theyre always hot, and theyre always in your hair.



…..Mini skirts.

If youre not careful, theyll creep up your legs.



…..Handguns.

Keep one around long enough, and youre going to want to shoot it.