24
Jun
As we all start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so
important New Years Resolutions. I have faithfully made such
resolutions in the past, and while I havent been able to keep all of
them, I have tried my best to continue making progress on them year
after year.
Following is my revised list of New Years Resolutions – 2003 Edition:
- Resolution #1
- 2000: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2001: I will not leave Marge.
2002: I will try for a reconciliation with Marge.
2003: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda. - Resolution #2
- 2000: I will stop looking at other women.
2001: I will not get involved with Wanda.
2002: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage.
2003: I will stop looking at other women. - Resolution #3
- 2000: I will not let my boss push me around.
2001: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2002: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2003: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss. - Resolution #4
- 2000: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2001: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2002: I will read 5 books a year.
2003: I will finish Airport. - Resolution #5
- 2000: I will not get upset when Charlie and Sam make jokes about my baldness.
2001: I will not get annoyed when Charlie and Sam kid me about my toupee.
2002: I will not lose my temper when they tell the guys I wear a girdle.
2003: I will not speak to Charlie and Sam. - Resolution #6
- 2000: I will get my weight down below 180.
2001: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2002: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2003: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight. - Resolution #7
- 2000: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2001: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
2002: I will not become a problem drinker.
2003: I will not miss any AA meetings. - Resolution #8
- 2000: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2001: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2002: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2003: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 1998. - Resolution #9
- 2000: I will see my dentist this year.
2001: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2002: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2003: I will get rid of my denture breath this year. - Resolution #10
- 2000: I will go to church every Sunday.
2001: I will go to church as often as possible.
2002: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2003: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.