17
Jan

Non-existent movie titles

(Ive been making a collection of peoples mis-rememberences of movie
titles and making up descriptions of what the movies would be like if
they really existed. Here are a few examples:)

8 1/2 WEEKS–Considered by some to be Fellinis masterpiece.
A filmmaker is resting at a health spa and trying to write a new movie.
He is distracted, however, by his visions of whips, strawberries, and
a mysterious woman in white.

NATIONAL BLUE VELVET–Elizabeth Taylor plays a young woman
with a strange attraction to horses. Dennis Hopper plays the wacky,
demented jockey.

MIRACLE ON 42ND STREET–Santa Claus, in the off season, follows
his hearts desire and tries to make it big on Broadway. Santa
sings and dances his way into your heart.

COLOR ME PURPLE–Whoopi Goldberg was nominated for an
Academy Award ™ for her part as a carnival face painter.

THE JAGGED RAZORS EDGE–This was made as a training film
for pubescent teens who are learning how to shave, but it contains
so much blood and gore that it is now considered a camp horror
classic. Look for the sequels, FACES OF DEATH, LEGS OF DEATH and
UNDERARMS OF DEATH.

Billy Green
Carrboro, NC

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