I was wondering if anyone else is having a problem with the Carbon Based Unit, Model # Homo Sapiens.

The following is a list of constant problems:

– A constant whining whenever the brain disengages after debating the virtues of the automobile selection process

– Overheats when the air/gray matter ratio exceeds rational equilibrium in regard to ones own responsibility to auto maintenance

– When mouth is placed in gear, makes loud noise whilst insulting the the auto professional. (see previous item)

– Software controlling the computer is defective..wild random responses to input stimuli (i.e. Have you checked the oil..?)

– Motor controls are sluggish (i.e. response to traffic light stimuli and expected law abiding response)

– Mouth continues to run long after brain has shut off

– Touts superior performance, but functions do not perform as advertised

– Lifetime warranty is a misnomer. Cannot get problems fixed under any policy

– Model not eligible for trade in or replacement under Lemon Law

I have attempted to contact the manufacturer of this model regarding these issues, but I have received no response. I can only assume that this creator does not stand by the product in question.

Therefore, I am directing my attorney to file a Class Action suit on behalf of myself and my family. The basis for this suit is that the manufacturer did knowingly produce a defective product.

Interested parties make contact my attorney:

U. B. Taken

1-800-Get-Away

or write:

7734 Geton Withit Ave.

Getalife, Hades 12345-678