A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him for school.Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father. Dad, he says, you wont believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!Thats absolutely amazing! his father says. How do I get him in that program?Just send him down here with $1000, the boy says, Ill get him into the course.So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.So hows Fido doing, son? his father asks.Awesome, dad, hes talking up a storm, he says, but you just wont believe this – theyve had such good results with this program, that theyve implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!READ!? says his father, No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?Just send $2,500, Ill get him in the class. His father sends the moneyThe boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home, his father is all excited. Wheres Fido? I just cant wait to see him talk and read something!Dad, the boy says, I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and
asked: Is your daddy still cheating on your mama and messing around with that cute little redhead next door?The father says, I hope you SHOT that damn dog.I sure did, Dad! I sure did!