Heres the next installment of politically correct TV shows coming up in the fall TV season, complete with ratings supplied by Big Brother (offensive to the politically correct, the differently abled, Bill Clinton and his fans, and liberal apologists):

Thursday nights programs:

The Simpsons:

For his Eagle Scout community service project, Bart develops a workable plan to convert Springfields nuclear power plant into a solar facility.

Guest voice: Vice President Al Gore.

Ratings: S/MU, WW, RPSE.

American Playhouse: Young Mr. Clinton:

In a performance entitled Doobie-ous Battle, while protesting the Vietnam War in England, Bill smokes marijuana without inhaling. Part 12 of 15.

Next week: To Russia with Love.

Ratings: S/MU, ISS, PCMM.

L.A. Law:

Douglas finally signs on to a plan to turn McKenzie-Brackman into a non-profit legal defense clinic. Stuart realizes the political justification of his beating during the L.A. riots and agrees to represent his attackers when the state brings new charges against them. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, Benny makes partner.

Ratings: S/MU, ALG, RPSE.

Ratings key:

S/MU: spiritual or moral uplift;

ISS: implied safe sex;

WW: win-win solution to intractable social disease or problem;

ALG: ameliorated liberal guilt;

VATCOT: violence avoided through court-ordered therapy;

PCMM: potentially contradictory moral message;

RPSE: reinforcement of positive self-esteem.

From the April 1994 issue of *Reason* magazine. Copyright 1994 by the Reason Foundation, 3415 S.Sepulveda Blvd., Suite 400, Los Angeles,CA 90034.