Signs of menopause

You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.
You have to write post-it notes with your kids names on them.
The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heavens Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
You change your underwear after every sneeze.

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