Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible
fight. I am the most beautiful person in the world, proclaimed
Sleeping Beauty.

No, youre not, answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb.

I am the smallest person in the world, shouted Tom Thumb.

No, youre not, said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan

Ive had more lovers than any person in the world, announced Don
Juan.

No, you havent replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.

Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a
mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in
the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to
his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a
time.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out
beaming. I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said
so.

In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty.
I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin agrees.

In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a
half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering, Who the hell
is Bill Clinton