The Facelift

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. Well, says the doctor, I can do the facelift, and then youll have to come back in six months for a follow-up. Oh, no. The woman replies. I want it all done in one shot. I dont want to have to come back. The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear. Thats what I want! Exclaims the lady. Lets do that. Six months later the lady charges into the doctors office. Well, hows the procedure holding up? The doctor asks. Terrible! The lady bellows. Its the worst mistake Ive ever made. Whats wrong? Asks the doctor. Just look at these bags under my eyes! She hollers. Lady, the doctor retorts, those arent bags, those are your breasts. And if you dont leave that screw alone, youre going to have a beard!

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