The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: Im going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today youre not going to like.

The wife says: Ill be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me Im beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.