The locum Vicar

( Apologies to all to whom this is not culturally relevant! )

A joke told to me by one of the staff at church on Sunday:

The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was
sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and
active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
exciting. As a consequence he was more than a little disapointed with the
dull and tradition-bound church. He decided to do something about it.

For his first Sunday, he didnt wear the traditional robes and vestments,
but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit. The congregation was
horrified! He changed the order of the service. The congregation was
horrified! Then came the childrens lesson.

For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.
The congregation was mortified! He sat there swinging his legs against
the table as the children gathered around him. The congregation were
totally beside themselves!

He asked the children, Whats small, brown, furry and eats nuts?

There was total silence.

He asked again, Whats small, brown, furry and eats nuts?

Total silence.

Eventually, one timid youngster put up his hand and said, Please, Sir,
I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.


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