05
Aug

The Man Etiquette Test

Heres a chance for you men to find out how compassionate and sensitive you are to women. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You dont get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, thats the way the game is played.



Simple Duties



You make the bed. (+1)

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up. (-5)

You replace the toilet-paper roll when its empty. (0)

When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1)

When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2)

You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5)

But return with beer. (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and its nothing. (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and its something. (+5)

You pummel it with a six iron. (+10)

Its her father. (-10)





Social Engagements



You stay by her side the entire party. (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy. (-2)

Named Tiffany. (-4)

Tiffany is a dancer. (-6)

Tiffany has implants. (-8)



Her Birthday



You take her out to dinner. (0)

You take her out to dinner and its not a sports bar. (+1)

It is a sports bar. (-2)

And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)

Its a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)





A Night Out With The Boys



And the pal is happily married. (-4)

Or frighteningly single. (-7)

And he drives a Mustang. (-10)

With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED). (-15)





A Night Out



You take her to a movie. (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes. (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)

You take her to a movie you like. (-2)

Its called Death Cop 3. (-3)

Which features cyborgs having sex. (-9)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)





Your Physique



You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)

You say I dont give a damn because you have one too. (-800)





The Big Question



She asks, Do I look fat?. (-5)

You hesitate in responding. (-10)

You reply, Where? (-35)





Communication



When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)

When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes. (+5)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+10)

She realizes this is because youve fallen asleep. (-20)







Scoring



Start with 50 points and add your score to it. If you ended up with +15 then your score would be 65 for the 65th percentile. If you got -15 then your score would be 35 for the 35th percentile.

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