The top 14 special powers of the young Darth Vader

Using the Force, young Darth could unhook a bra on the other side of the planet.
Could hack into Death Star mainframe to vaporize his violin teachers house.
The power to cause volcanic pimple eruptions on the faces of his mortal enemies.
Could make Obi-Wan Kenobi pee his pants by sneaking in his room and putting his hand in warm water.
Ability to sweet-talk girls into rubbing his helmet.
For a white kid, he did a pretty damn good James Earl Jones impression.
Astounding dodge ball prowess combined with take no prisoners attitude resulted in many a beheaded opponent.
The old Jedi your lunch money is mine trick.
Ability to emit a powerful protective force-field after only one bean burrito.
Won the high school talent show every year by making the vice principal writhe in pain.
Ability to activate Trouser Saber at will.
The uncanny ability to make all the hottest babes believe that through the constant application of love and understanding *they* can change him.
You dont need to see my I.D. You know Im old enough to buy beer.

and Topfive.coms Number 1 Special Power of the Young Darth Vader…

Pasty skin + jet-black wardrobe + intense aura of impending doom = Goth babe magnet!

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]
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