The Sermon on the Mount would be a musical.

Jesus would never wear white after Labour Day.

Priests would get married… wait a minute… never mind.

The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.

Marys hair would be FLAWLESS.

The Temple would not have been cleansed of money changers, just
re-decorated.

The water at the Wedding Feast of Canaan would have turned into
dry martinis with just a splash of Curacao for colour.

The Triumphal Entry just screams for a drag number.

Replace the Beatitudes with Fabulous are they…

The Last Supper would have been a brunch.