Things youll NEVER hear one woman say to another woman

That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping

my husband company while I go for a swim?

Oh, look, that woman and I have the same dress on! I think Ill go

introduce myself!

His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am, and Im

happy for them both.

If he doesnt let me hold the remote, I get all moody.

He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him.

Im sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned

waiter with a heart of gold any day!

Were redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to help him

with the color choices!

He talks our relationship to death! Its making me crazy!


I just realized — my butt doesnt look fat in this — my butt *is* fat!

Most viewed Jokes (20)