17
Oct
- He wears the Santa costume all year round
- Tells salesgirls that Me & Mrs. Claus have an understanding
- After every toy request says Yeah, right
- Tries unsuccessfully to hide the fact that hes wearing handcuffs
- Charges $5.95 for the first minute, $2.95 each additional minute
- Every day around 10 A.M. throws up on the down escalator
- Keeps sending elves out for more vermouth
- Whether they want it or not, gives every kid a crewcut
- Keeps reminiscing about his vice presidency under George Bush
- Hes packin heat