Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long
trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back
to the judge who had presided at the hearing.

Your honor, he said, I wanna get out a warrant for that
dirty lawyer of mine.

Why ? asked the judge. He won your acquittal. What do you
want to have him arrested for ?

Well, your honor, replied Carlson, I didnt have the money to pay
his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.

You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence
for a man of your background, sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

If I wasnt under oath, Id return the compliment, replied the
witness.

Look, Im tired of typing. Go buy the book: Larry Wilde,
The Ultimate Lawyers Joke Book. Bantam books. $2.95 (Canada $3.95).