Old and New Jokes

Im sure you can substitute any college name you want into these and you will get the same results!!!

How many UCLA alumni does it take to change a light bulb?



One to crack the whip and make his bitches do it for him…





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How many UC San Diego students does it take to change a lightbulb?

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Two: one to mix the margaritas and one to call the electrician.

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How many UC Santa Cruz students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eleven: one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.





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How many UC Davis students does it take to change a lightbulb?

None: Davis doesnt have electricity.





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How many UC San Francisco students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.





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How many UC Santa Barbara students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but he gets six credits for it.





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How many UC Berkeley students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seventy-six: one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulbs right not to change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.





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How many UC Irvine students does it take to change a lightbulb?

None: Irvine looks better in the dark (ditto Riverside).





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How many UCLA students does it take to change a lightbulb?

One: he just holds the bulb and lets the world revolve around him.