Usenet is like Tetris for people who still know how to read. — Computer Museum (Boston)
Usenet isnt a right. Its a right, a left, and a swift uppercut to the jaw. — Computer Museum (Boston)
If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about … five minutes. — Anon.
Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare! — Blair Houghton
The NeXT Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe. — Anon.
What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator. — Anon.
Whos General Failure and whys he reading my disk? — Anon.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. — Robert X Cringely
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. — Mitch Ratliffe
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. Thats where we come in; were computer professionals. We cause accidents. — Nathaniel Borenstein
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad. — Anon.
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_| — Anon.
If you cant beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. — Anon.
Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium. — Anon.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. — Anon.
Never trust a computer you cant throw out a window. — Steve Wozniak
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. — Anon.
Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window. — Anon.
The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, theres no law against whacking them around a little. — Porterfield
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. — Jeff Pesis
The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec. — Marcus Dolengo
If a trainstation is where the train stops, whats a workstation…? — Anon.
The robot is going to lose. Not by much. But when the final score is tallied, flesh and blood is going to beat the damn monster. — Adam Smith
The computer is a moron. — Peter Drucker
I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them. — Isaac Asimov
Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debuging Mondays code. — Dan Salomon
Its easy to cry bug when the truth is that youve got a complex system and sometimes it takes a while to get all the components to co-exist peacefully. — Doug Vargas
As soon as we started programming
15
Oct
Additional Jokes From "General / Unsorted"
- How to use an ATM machine…
- At the blood donor clinic
- The Boy Who Wrote To God
- New Programming Language: C + –
- Afrer heart attack
- Few occupational hazards
- X-Files: The science adviser to whaaat?
- Knock, Knock
- Bill Collector
- Jobs and Work joke #11019
- After 3 husbands – still virgin (Risque)
- Dont Ask . . . Dont Tell . . .
- Survey on italian men
- Smoke rings
- Clinton Strikes again