Old and New Jokes

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you cant fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.If someone in your family grows beyond 5 9, it is presumed his Mother had an affair.There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.And you REALLY, REALLY know youre Italian when:Your grandfather had a fig tree.You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.Your moms meatballs are the best.Youve been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.Plastic on the furniture is normal.You know how to pronounce manicotti and mozzarella.You fight over whether its called sauce or gravy.