A Definite Definition

Poza publicata in [ Tasteless ]

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is definitely and its meaning is absolute, positive, without a doubt.

She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself. Susan stands up and says, The sky is definitely blue.

The teacher replies to her, Well, thats a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?

Toms hand flies up and she calls on him. Tom answers, The water is definitely clear.

Well, Tom thats a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes its green, and sometimes its full of seaweed so its not definitely clear. Anyone else?

Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand.

Yes, Robert?

asks the teacher.

Can I ask a question, teacher?

Robert replies.

Yes.

Do farts have lumps?

No. Why do you ask.

Well, then Ive definitely pooped in my pants.


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