Life before AOL

Before AOL group sex meant the risk of STDs. Now you run the risk of getting Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
Before AOL family reunions were needed just to touch base, and the main topic was how Cousin Jed was in jail. Now IMs are used to touch base and they start flying as cousin Jed is TOSd for soliciting passwords.
Before AOL teens would be embarrassed to go to the local news-stand and pick up a copy of playboy. Now you have to hide the credit cards to keep them from buying Live Nudies on the Internet.
Before AOL you sat down and explained to your teen about using condoms. Now you find yourself out buying a spill-proof keyboard.
Before AOL your mother ordered pizza from a paper menu. Now she orders from a virtual pizza shop, and gets pissed when the delivery never comes.
Before AOL your husband sent flowers for your B-day, Valentines, etc. Now He shows his affection by sending you roses from a virtual florist, and justifies it by stating, They will never die.
Before AOL you had sex in bed with your spouse. Now you expect your significant other to sign on with Big44D4U or HungLo10 respectively.
Before AOL you dined out. Now you scrape last nights meal from your keyboard.
Before AOL, You would get upset that your wife went shopping. Now she can shop till she drops just so long as you hide the credit card.
Before AOL the ugliest person you had ever met made a pass at you and you shot them down grimacing. Now you have no clue as to who that person really is that you cybered last night.
Before AOL people used terrible pick up lines at the bar. Now they bombard you with IMs asking you to get nekkid.
Before AOL teachers could go to the library, look inside an Encyclopaedia and tell if you had plagiarised the hell out of it. Now they can surf the web for years and still have no clue.
Before AOL people would prejudge you by your physical appearance and /or abilities. Now they listen to what you have to say before they make a decision.

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