09
Mar

The Microsoft Car

Microsoft Announces a Major Corporate Diversification
Into the Car Making Business.

The major design criteria are:

Economies in interior design are based upon uniform size back-sides
seats are all the same size and standard distance from the steering wheel.
The cars will only run on Microsoft petrol (Microsoft LP Gas will be
announced soon ..)
The oil, alternator, low-fuel and engine management system warning
lights will be replaced by a single General Car Protection Fault
warning light.
Delivery strategy is such that the consumer is under constant
pressure to upgrade (modestly priced upgrade kits will be available
either dealer fitted or self install). Support for self install is
an extra cost option, cost based upon the number of calls and the
number of callers.
You can only have one person in the car at a time, unless you buy
Car95 or CarNT but having bought one of these, you still need to
purchase more seats.
Occasionally, for no reason at all, the car will die for no apparent
reason and restarting is a simple turn of the key .. strangely, this
is accepted as normal.
Every time the lines on your normal road are repainted, you must buy
a new MS Car
People would get excited about the new features of the Microsoft
car, forgetting that the same features have been available from other
car makers for years …..
and not to forget
Sun MicroSystems will make a car that is solar-powered, twice as
reliable, five times as fast but will only run on 5% of currently
constructed roads.

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