Ralph, feeling very ill, goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to
the hospital to undergo tests.

After the lengthy exam, he wakes up hungry and quite groggy. Ralph looks about,
noticing that he is now in a private room at the hospital. Just then the phone
by his bed rings…

This is your doctor, said the serious voice. We just got the results back
from your battery of tests. Obviously, you have lead a very promiscuous life.

Ralph smiled: And Ive enjoyed every minute!

The doctors voice became even more serious: Well youre not going to enjoy
this; Weve found you have an extremely nasty disease called G.A.S.H. Its a
combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes!

My gosh, doctor! said Ralph, now quite worried. What are you going to do?

The doctor explained: The first thing were going to do is put you on a strict
diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.

How long will I have to be on that diet?

For the rest of your life.

Will that cure me? asked Ralph.

Well no, said the doctor, but, its the only food we can get under the door.