31
Dec

Windows 98 (Preview)

Included subliminal Impeach Janet Reno messages in start-up screen.
New Internet Explorer feature: whenever you visit a Web site ending in .gov, a message first appears reminding you that Microsoft is not a monopoly.
Source code no longer ones and zeros – try 666s and zeros. Windows start-up theme, played backward, says, Heres to my sweet Satan.
Comes with check for $50 that, if cashed, puts your name on an Internet petition telling the DOJ to buzz off *and* changes your long distance carrier to AT&T.
New desktop icon – click once, and $1 will go directly from your checking account into the Microsoft Legal Defense Fund.
Added new template to preinstalled version of Word: Letter to the editor expressing delight with Microsoft products.
Freebie computer-controlled Barney doll has been reprogrammed to say, Big government is sca-a-ary. Janet tried to hurt me.
TV function scrambles C-Span during antitrust hearings.
Desktop display with countdown tracking number of copies of Windows 98 that must yet be bought to prevent worldwide economic collapse!
Last-minute name change: was Windows 98, now Windows: Assimilate.

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