10 signs youve joined a cheap H.M.O.

  1. Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
  2. Directions to your doctors office include, Take a left when you enter the trailer park.
  3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
  4. The only proctologist in the plan is Gus from Roto-Rooter.
  5. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is an apple a day.
  6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
  7. The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges is not a typo.
  8. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
  9. With your last HMO, your Prozac didnt come in different colors with little M&Ms on them.
  10. You ask for Viagra; you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

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