Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
I.R.S.: Weve got what it takes to take what youve got.
Im just driving this way to tick you off.
Reality is a crutch for people who cant handle drugs.
Keep honking, Im reloading.
Hang up and drive.
Guns dont kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen.
Friends dont let Friends drive Naked.
If we arent supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice doggie!… till you can find a rock.

Received from William Conway.