37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs…what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. Youve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but Im the only one talking to you.

7. Im a bird watcher and Im looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. Im fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? Ill lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, Im sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. Id really like to see how you look when Im naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because Ive got a stiffy.

17. Id walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If its true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well Its not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, Id have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?


2. F@# me if Im wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)…remember that, youll be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, Im Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think IM cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isnt Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Dont you like pizza?

33. Baby, Im an American Express lover…you shouldnt go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Lets get you out of these wet clothes.

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