Old and New Jokes

* Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast-food bags out of the back seat of your car.

* Your reason for not staying in better touch with your family is that they dont have E-mail addresses.



* Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPNs homepage to your bookmarks.



* You have a to do list that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks –and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.



* You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.



* Standard pick-up lines now include references to liquid assets and capital gains.



* You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.



* You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.



* Your idea of being organized is multiple colored sticky notes.



* Your grocery list has been on the front of your fridge so long some of the products dont even exist any longer.



* You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on how to improve their production and marketing processes.



* You get all excited when its Saturday — and that just means you can wear your sweats to work.



* You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.



* You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what it is you do for a living.



* You typically eat out of vending machines, and at the most expensive restaurant in the city, within the same week.



* You think that progressing an action plan and calendarizing a project are standard and acceptable English phrases.



* You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next-door neighbors.



* You ask your friends to, think out of the box when making Friday night plans.



* You think Einstein would have been more effective if he put his ideas into matrix.



* You think a half day means leaving at 5 oclock.



* You hear most of your jokes via E-mail instead of in person.