Old and New Jokes

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light,
turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the
cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab
company and requested a taxi. The taxi
arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.
The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They dont want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesnt want the driver to know the house will be empty for
the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon Hes just
going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother. A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. Sorry I took so long, he says, as they drive
away. Stupid thing was hiding under the
bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off
so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from
scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into
the back yard! The cabdriver hit a parked car…