Old and New Jokes

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

Theres no way they can catch a Mercedes, he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…..Then the reality of the situation hit him. What am I doing? he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

Its been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and its Friday the 13th. I dont feel like more paperwork, I dont need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I havent heard before, you can go.

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!

Have a nice weekend, said the officer.