This man shows up at his doctors office to get patched up. He has obviously been severely beaten about the head and shoulders. His doctor tapes him up and asks him, What in the hell happened to you?

You wont believe this doc, it happened in church.

In church? How?

The minister told us all to stand and sing hymn 317. When we stood up, I noticed the woman standing in front of me had her dress pushed up her butt. So I reached forward and pulled it out. She beat the crap out of me with her umbrella.

Several weeks later, the man shows up at his doctor, all beaten up again. Again the doctor patches him up and asks him about what happened.

It happened in the same church.

Again?

Yes. The minister told us to all stand and sing hymn 317. When we stood up, the same woman was in front of me, with her dress up her butt. The woman standing next to her noticed that and pulled it out. I knew she didnt like that, so I reached forward and pushed it back in.