Old and New Jokes

John OReilly hoisted his beer and said,
Heres to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife! That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night.She said, Aye, what was your toast? John said, Heres to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.
Oh that is very nice indeed, John! Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of Johns toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, John won the prize, the other night, with a toast about you, Mary. She said, Aye and I was a bit surprised me self! You know, hes only been there twice! Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.