Old and New Jokes

The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong:*I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
*Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
*Gun wounds again?
*Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
*A normal person wouldnt steal pituitaries.
*Darn, Ill burn you into a BBQ chicken.
*Take my advice, or Ill spank you a lot.
*Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
*Quiet or Ill blow your throat up.
*Ill fire aimlessly if you dont come out!
*You daring lousy guy.
*Beat him out of recognizable shape!
*Yah-hah, evil spider woman! i have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your doctor for a thorough examination.
*I have been scared silly too much lately.
*I got knife scars more than the number of your legs hair!
*Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
*The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
*How can you use my intestines as a gift?
*Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some but of the giant lizard person.
*You always use violence. I shouldve ordered glutinous rice chicken.