At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats.
The paleness of your face (because of the lack of blood) – Its all you-know-where.
You begin to look at the dog with interest.
You fall naked and face down on the beach and the point comes out in New Zealand.
They confuse you with the duracell bunny.
When you come into a sauna, everyone stands up and applauds.
You begin to thing that your mother-in-law is pretty.
You no longer need the TV remote control.
You killed a passer-by with a button that flew off your new Levis.
If you die, they wont be able to close your coffin for three days.
They begin to call you the tripod.
The butchers look for you because they ran out of peperoni.
You go out to sunbathe nude and (if youre standing) the birds perch on it to rest, or (if youre lying down) you look like a sundial.
When you go camping all you bring is the canvas, but you leave the tent poles behind.
Everyone lets you get in line in front of him or her in the bank, the supermarket, etc.
Pinocchio doesnt look like such a liar, compared with you.
When you go to the kitchen in the middle of the night, you can carry the glass of milk, the cookies, the napkins, the plate, and other things that you couldnt before using just 2 hands.
You always lose limbo contests.
Lewinsky wants you to be president someday.
You can make drawings in the sand at the beach without having to look for a stick.
You had them take down the ceiling fan in the bedroom because you like to sleep on your back.

These were forwarded to me from a Spanish humor list. Enjoy.