Old and New Jokes

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.Never read the fine print. There aint no way youre going to like it.If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.The only two things we do with greater frequency in our old age are urinate and attend funerals.The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.To err is human, to forgive – highly unlikely.Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?Money cant buy happiness — but somehow its more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.After a certain age, if you dont wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.