Old and New Jokes

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph.

The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, Honey, I know weve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.



The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.



She then says, I dont want you to try to talk me out of it, because Ive been having an affair with your best friend, and hes a better lover than you.



Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.



She says, I want the house. Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.



She says, I want the kids too. The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until hes up to 80 mph.



She says, I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too. The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, Is there anything you want?

The husband says, No, Ive got everything I need right here.



She asks, Whats that?



The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph…

Ive got the airbag!