it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes





when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends





she tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order





she sold the car for gas money





she got stabbed in a shoot out





when asked on an application, Sex?, she marked, M, F and sometimes Wednesday too.





she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif





***yo mama so fat***





when she stood on the bathroom scale, it said to be continued…..





last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale





when she steps on a scale, it read one at a time, please





her nickname is DAMN





people jog around her for exercise





shes got her own area code





even Bill Gates couldnt pay for her liposuction





she has more chins then a hong kong phone book





***yo mama so nasty***





shes like a brick, rough around the edges and gets laid by mexicans every day





she has lobsters instead of crabs





***yo mama so ugly***





she joined an ugly contest, and they said, sorry, no professionals.





she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning





that if ugly were bricks shed have her own projects





she makes blind kids cry





she makes onions cry





***your mama so old***





her security code is 000-00-0001





when god said,let there be light, she flicked the switch.