Old and New Jokes

A 47-year-old man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He really likes it. He was heading toward McDonalds when he stopped and asked a man, excuse me for asking, but, what age do I look like? The man says, To me, you look 35. The guy says, Really! Im actually 47! and walks to on.



Once he gets to McDonalds, he asks the orderer the same question. The orderer says, To me, you look 29. The guy says, Really! Im actually 47! and then leaves.





At the bus stop, he asks an old lady the same question. She says, Im 87, my eye sight isnt that well. Although, I can tell your age by having my hand down your pants for 10 minutes. The guy sees no one around and says what the hell and lets her…





…after ten minutes, she takes her hand out and says, Alright, youre 47. The guy is surprised and says, WOW! How did you know? The old woman says, I was standing behind you at McDonalds.