Old and New Jokes

Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.



The girl came up to him and asked What do you have under the newspaper, mister?



A bird, the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.



When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, Idont know.



I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is Im here.



Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her What did you do to that naked fellow?



After a little pause, the girl replied, To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire.