Rednecks Ode to a Valentine

Kudzu is green. My Dogs name is Blue. And Im so danged lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk, A-flappin in the breeze. Softer than Blues And without all them fleas. You move like the bass which excite me in May. You aint got no scales But I luv you anyway. Yore as graceful as okry jist a-dancin in the pan. Yore as fragrant as Mountain Dew Right out of the can. You have all yore teeth For which I am proud. I hold my head high When wes in a crowd. On special occasions, When you shave yore armpits, Well Im in hawg heaven. Im plumb out of my wits. And speakin of wits, You got plenty fer shore. Cuz you are my woman. I cant ask fer more. Like a good roll of Duct Tape Yore there for yore man To patch up lifes toubles And stick em in the can. Yore as strong as a four-wheeler Racin through the mud. Yet fragile as that singer Named Naomi Judd. Yore as cute as a Junebug A-buzzin overhead. You aint mean like no far ant On which I oft treat. Cut from the best pattern Like a flannel shirt of plaid, You sparked up my life Like my Rattletrap Shad. (A fishing lure.) When you hold me real tight Like a padded gunrack, My life is complete. There aint nothin I lack. Yore complexions perfection Like the best vinly sidin, Despite all the years, Yore age, it keeps hidin. And when you get old Like a 57 Chevy, I wont put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy. Me n yous like a Moon Pie with a cold RC drank. We go together Like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate For Valentines Day. They git it at Wal-Mart. Its romatic that way. Some men, they git roses On that special day From a coller at Food World. Thats impressive, I say. Some men buy fine diamonds From a flea market booth. A diamonds forever, They explain, suave and couth. But for this feller, honey, These will not do. For you are too special, You old sweet thang, you. I got you a gift without taste nor odor. Better than diamonds, its a new trollin motor.