Old and New Jokes

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money.
2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.
3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that youre a spider person.
4) When attending a movie youve already seen, yell out: Dont let him in! Hes the killer!
5. When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.
6) When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: I hope I fixed it this time.
7) Beep when a large person backs up.
8) Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the little men.
9) Insist on making inanimate objects dance
10) Occasionally talk into your hand in public.
11) Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until its full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.
12) When stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of the car.
13) Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.
14) While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.
15) Insist that life is one big musical, then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public.