These Weird Reference Questions are from the Library Paraprofessionals Listserv. All of these are real and provide proof that a better idiot can be invented.

Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?

Do you have that book by Rushdie: Satanic Nurses? (Actual title: Satanic Verses)

I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $

39.

95. Do you know which one it is?

Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites? hahahaha…what a bone head!

Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs? hmmm…I dont recollect any camera-toting cavemen…do you?

Im looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think Im having trouble with it in my neck. (No…thats your brain miss-firing.)

I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months. (I know…how about shooting yourself? That would get you life in prison!)

I need a color photograph of George Washington. (Ok…hold on…Ill check with the caveman…)

Is the basement upstairs? (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk) This one gets the golden stupidity award!