Benefits of Being Female

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We never ejaculate prematurely.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous.

When men buy a blow up doll its pathetic.

We dont have to get our strength up between sessions… and its much easier for us to get some in the first place.

We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.

Our boyfriends clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous – guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers……

Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

Taxis stop for us.

Weve never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

We dont look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

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