22
Jan

A gender-specific dictionary

Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
male: Food, sex and beer.
Thingy (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a cars hood.
male: The strap fastener on a womans bra.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.
Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up ones self emotionally to another.
male: Playing ball without a cup.
Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with ones partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.
Butt (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes look bigger.
male: The organ of mooning (and farting).
Birthdays & Anniversaries (burth-daze and an-nu-ver-sa-rez)n.
female: A time to reflect on ones life and loves, celebrate with loved ones and exchange gifts.
male: A time to get drunk.
Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with ones girlfriend.
Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.
Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.
Taste (tayst) v.
female: Something you do frequently to whatever youre cooking, to make sure its good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

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