Two boys are playing football in Columbus when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.
A reporter from the Columbus Dispatch who was strolling by, sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy.
Young Buckeye Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal, he starts writing in his notebook.
But Im not a Buckeye fan, the little hero replied.replied.
Sorry, since we are in Columbus I just assumed you were, said the reporter and starts again.
Little Bobcat Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack he continued writing in his notebook.
I am not a Bobcat fan either, the boy said.
I assumed everyone in Central Ohio was either for the Buckeyes or Bobcats. What team do you root for? the reporter asked.
Im a Michigan fan. the child replied.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, Little Redneck Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet.