Old and New Jokes

This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture. So, she holds up a hand and says, ACTS 2:38!The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops.When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this.One of them asked the lady, How did you do this?The woman replied, I quoted scripture.The cop turned the burglar, What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?The burglar replied, Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an axe and two 38s.