Actual Court Sayings!

30 things people actually said in court

Question 1.

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15th

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Question 2.

Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact?

A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.

Question 3.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?

Question 4.

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: 38 or 35, I cant remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: 45 years

Question 5.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?

A: He said Where am I, Cathy?

Q: And why did that upset you?

A My name is Susan.

Question 6.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?

A: Approximatly milepost 499.

Q: And where is milepost 499?

A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Question 7.

Q: Sir, What is your IQ?

A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Question 8.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?

A: After the accident?

Q: Before the accident.

A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Question 9.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, Voodoo.

Question 10.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendent, were you red and blue lights flashing?

A: Yes

Q: Did the defendent say anything when she got out of her car?

A: Yes sir

Q: What did she say?

A: What disco am I at?

Question 11.

Q: Now doctor, isnt it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesnt know about it until the next morning?

Question 12.

Q: The youngest son, the 22 year old, how old is he?

Question 13.

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Question 14.

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Question 15.

Q: Did he kill you?

Question 16.

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?

Question 17.

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Question 18.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Question 19.

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at the time?

Question 20.

Q: She had three children right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: none.

Q: Were there any girls?

Question 21.

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: yes

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Question 22.

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather eleborate honeymoon, didnt you?

A: I went to Europe, Sir.

Q: And you took your new wife?

Question 23.

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Question 24.

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Question 25.

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male or female?

Question 26.

Q: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Question 27.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK,? What school did you go to?

A: Oral

Question 28.

Q: Do you recall the time you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Question 29.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Question 30.

Q:Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So it was possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brains was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patien have still been alive nevertheless?

A: It is possible that he coulkd have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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