Old and New Jokes

Aries:
Just one. You want to make something of it?Taurus:
One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.Gemini:
Two, but the job never gets done — they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how its supposed to be done.Cancer:
Just one. But it takes a therapist three years
to help them through the grief process.Leo:
Leos dont change light bulbs, although sometimes
their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them
while theyre out.Virgo:
Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.Libra:
Er, two. Or maybe one. No – on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?Scorpio:
That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.Sagittarius:
The sun is shining, the day is young and weve got our whole lives ahead of us, and youre inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?Capricorn:
I dont waste my time with these childish jokes.Aquarius:
Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so…Pisces:
Light bulb? What light bulb?