Old and New Jokes

1. You get this round and the next round is on me.
Ill be leaving before the next round.

2. Ill get this round and the next one is on you.
Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round theyll be $3.50.

3. Hey, where is that friend of yours?
I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

4. Can I get a glass of white zinfandel. (female)
Im easy.

5. Can I get a glass of white zinfandel. (male)
Im gay.

6. Ever try a body shot? (male to female)
I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

7. Ever try a body shot? (female to male)
If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what Ill do to you on the ride home?

8. I dont feel well, lets go home. (female)
You are paying more attention to your friends than me.

9. I dont feel well, lets go home. (male)
Im horny.

10. Whos got the next round?
I havent bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.